Showing posts from August, 2017

Return of the Living Snippets

As the hour slips on past midnight.... ME: *yawn* I have to get up stupid early. Tell me to go to bed. MAN: Go to bed. ME: Don't tell me what to do. MAN: See, I knew that's what was going to happen. ME: WHY is there a phone charger in the bathroom? BOY: Uh... ME: With a cord IN the sink, because that's a great idea! BOY: Let me try a toaster next! ME: Smartass. MAN: Ow! ME: (without looking up) Stop using the hand. MAN: I forgot! ME: Learn! BOY: What did the doctor say? ME: He said I should rest more. BOY: Well, then you should rest more. ME: Oh really? Which of my jobs should I quit? BOY: All of them! ME: Sure, no problem! Then you will support me? BOY: ... ME: Ian, please put the DVD away. BOY: Yes mom. ME: And see if you can't put it away where it belongs? In alphabetical order? BOY: I do! ME: That's funny, because I spent twenty minutes having to reorder the DVDs because somebody in this house managed to graduate high school without