Scarlet Letters

The not-so-private thoughts and rants of Elizabeth Donald, journalist/author and founder of the Literary Underworld.

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Donut Wars

Dear Spawn:

The two doughnuts on the small plate on the dining table are for you. The rest of the doughnuts are hidden in my new super-secret hiding place, which is a much better place than hiding the marshmallows in the spice cabinet or the Oreos in my nail polish drawer, since you figured those out.

This is part of my ongoing plot to ensure that some scrap of food remains for me and Jimmy once the plague of locusts (read: you) go to school.

You've driven me to new depths, since you foiled my last plot. Taping the last doughnut box shut was supposed to be a hint. I should have taped the sides of the box as well. This is why we can't have nice things.

Do let me know when you stop growing, mmkay?

Love, Mom

P.S. There is currently a gallon and a half of milk left in the fridge. Be sure to leave a cup or two for me and Jimmy unless you want to face Cranky Mom when you get home from school.


Blogger Dawn Marie Blades said...

This sounds much like my mother's notes. Although her's usually started with "Ladies", ended with "Mean Mother Of The Year", and included the warning of "Drink the last of the Coke and you die"

1:38 AM  
Blogger jilly-bear said...

LOL!!! I find some of these notes between siblings at my house. If it doesn't have a name on it - it's fair game (and sometimes when it does - they just try to hide the evidence.)

1:06 PM  

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