Smith Co.

BOY: How much are you paying me to do our walk?
ME: As I have said in the past, the amount you are compensated is calculated by the extent of the job times the quality of the work performed minus the amount of mouth I get in assigning it. And there was some serious mouth.
BOY: I was joking.
ME: Uh huh.
BOY: You should know that Smith Co. rates have gone up twenty percent due to repeated snowpocalypses.
ME: I decline.
MAN: Inflation ain't that bad, kid.
BOY: I shall speak to my agent about this.
ME: Go ahead. Your agent is Jimmy.
BOY: My agent is Mr. Snuffles the teddy bear.
ME: *quakes in boots*
BOY: Fine. Jimmy, you're hired.
ME: Besides, all my friends agree I should charge you a shovel tax for the use of my shovel.
BOY: A shovel tax? How much?
ME: Katie Yates says fifty percent.
BOY: Fifty percent? Smith Co. will not do business with Donald Inc. under these conditions!
ME: There is no Smith Co. According to Jimmy, I am the CEO of Donald-Smith-Gillentine Inc.*, which is a union shop and Jimmy is the shop steward.
BOY: I need to talk to my agent.
ME: I suggest you talk to your union boss. In the meantime, I'm working. And the front walk needs salt.
BOY: *grumbles*


* If I didn't keep hold of the checkbook, we'd be evicted. This in no way implies that anybody does what I say.