Scarlet Letters

The not-so-private thoughts and rants of Elizabeth Donald, journalist/author and founder of the Literary Underworld.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Moonlight Sonata and the Hamsters of Amazon

Announcement! The Kindle edition of Moonlight Sonata is now available for $4.99!

I named my pet raven Edgar. He's happy to meet you.



Q: Wait, the book's been out a week. Why is the ebook just now -
A: Because I'm not Beethoven.
Q: What?
A: Amazon got the ebook version of my new short story collection mixed up with the various renditions and publications of Ludwig's Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor, which he called "Quasi una fantasia" and we call "Moonlight Sonata."
Q: That seems like a difficult mistake to make.
A: Well, it's not like I didn't know it existed. In fact, I listened to the sonata several times in the playlist I developed while writing the stories in this book. Along with a significant portion of the soundtrack to Sons of Anarchy. It's that kind of book.
Q: So that's why there hasn't been an ebook up until now?
A: Yes. The little hamsters running in the wheels at Amazon got my short story collection confused with a classical music piece written 215 years ago.
Q: Those aren't very smart hamsters.
HAMSTERS: Hey.
A: Never mind, hamsters. It's all sorted out now. We're good.
HAMSTERS: Squeak.
Q: So I can buy the ebook now?
A: By all means. Of course, if you prefer the dead-tree edition in paperback or hardback, those are also available from the hamsters at Amazon or from LiteraryUnderworld.com, and at fine booksellers near you, especially if you go in and request that they carry it. Hint hint.
Q: Wait, I have Kindle Unlimited.
A: Then you're in luck, because it's FREE to you. Go snag it!
Q: Is there anything else I can do to help along your amazing literary masterpiece?
A: I'm so glad you asked. If you are so moved, please go review the book on Amazon. This helps a lot in terms of showing up in search results and being recommended to other people. It's me and Ludwig, folks. Do you know how many musical recordings there have been of the Moonlight Sonata? And, of course, recommend the book to your friends! Forward them this message, or just post the link on social media. Word of mouth is the name of the game.
Q: The book isn't about Beethoven, right?
A: Nope. No half-crazy German composers. Ghosts, monsters, a dead voice from the radio, a haunted church, a covered bridge to hell, immortal love and a few extra ghosts.
Q: Sounds spooky.
A: That's the idea. Hey, did you know that the full name of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata was Sonata quasi una Fantasia per il Clavicembalo o Piano=forte composta e dedicata alla Damigella Contessa Giulietta Guilietta Guicciardi da Luigi van Beethoven Opera 27 No. 2 in Vienna presso Gio. Cappi Sulla Piazza di St. Michele No. 5? 
Q: ...I did not know that.
A: Maybe that's what I should have titled the book. What do you think, Hamsters of Amazon?
HAMSTERS: Squeak.

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