Scarlet Letters

The not-so-private thoughts and rants of Elizabeth Donald, journalist/author and founder of the Literary Underworld.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Snippets: One giant leap for sporekind

This conversation began downstairs and meandered up to my office, which I affectionately call The Tower. The stairs are... kinda steep.

ME: This is the problem with my post-lunch coffee.
JIM: Where is your coffee cup?
ME: That's the problem. It's up in the office. So do I go all the way upstairs, get the cup, come back down, get coffee, then go back up again? That's a lot of work and I'm lazy.
JIM: I see.
ME: Or, I could just get a second cup and bring it up with me.
JIM: Or I can go up with you, get your cup and bring you coffee.
ME: You could, but you are not my personal servant.
JIM: Self-interest. Anything to keep you from collecting more and more cups up there.
ME: I do not!
JIM: You do too! You collect cups on your desk until they evolve and form civilizations.
ME: *giggling* That's not true!
JIM: It is! You've had some achieve spaceflight.
ME: I always destroy them before they reach the Pleistocene era.
JIM: Hon, I saw one launch a tiny little spacecraft.
ME: *laughing*
JIM: It sailed all the way across the library to your Darrell Awards, calling, "One small step for spores, one giant leap for sporekind!"
ME: *helpless*


In case it's not obvious, the semester has begun for Jim.



MAN: I'm going to fucking love this class!*
ME: Duh.
MAN: Lot of reading.
ME: Sounds good to me.
MAN: There is a guy playing the piano here that is amazing.
ME: Sounds like a music major. Careful, they tend to be unbalanced.
MAN: Yes, you are.
ME: Excuse me. I was a theater major. Never the twain shall meet.
MAN: You theater types are unhinged also.
ME: Unhinged might be overstating it... We have a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.
MAN: Flipping nuts then.
ME: If I'm nuts, why did you marry me?
MAN: I'm a writer and we love to be tortured souls.


This would be Spawn on the THIRD day of his senior year.
Since he wouldn't cooperate with a first-day selfie, he had to be caught in the wild (read: my office).


* Modern American Literature. 

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