More random snark

Me: So that pork roast? I found out why it was cheap.
Jimmy: All that fat?
Me: It wasn't fat. It was skin. It still had the skin on.
Jimmy: Did you take it off?
Me: I couldn't get it off! I hacked and hacked at it, but it wouldn't come off. So I looked it up on the internet, and it said you can roast it with the skin on and it will actually add flavor. Then it'll just slip right off.
Jimmy: Then we can roast it in the oven.
Me: What?
Jimmy: Roast the skin, and it'll turn into cracklings.
Me: Cracklings?
Jimmy: *pats my knee* It's okay, northern girl.
Jimmy: Cracklings. Roasted pork skin.
Me: You just bake pig skin and eat it?
Jimmy: Mmmm.
Me: I have a theory that weird southern cuisine goes back to the Civil War, when everyone was starving to death, so they ate whatever they could. Then it became a point of pride: "We ate shit and we liked it!" 
Jimmy: *laughs*
Me: It explains giblet gravy. Fried pork skin indeed.
Jimmy: It's just pork rinds.
Me: .... I thought pork rinds were, like, pork-flavored corn puffs.
Jimmy: Cracklings.
Me: I will keep an open mind till I try it.

Me: Do you like my new haircut?
Jimmy: That's not a new haircut. You just pinned up your hair.
Me: It was close. I was so tempted to grab my kitchen shears and hack it off.
Jimmy: *touches my hair* Just checking.
Me: So this is what I'd look like with short hair, see?
Jimmy: Noooo. You wouldn't look good with short hair.
Me: So you're saying I don't look good right now?
Jimmy: .... I just like long hair.
Me: That was one of those questions, you know, where you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Jimmy: Oh yeah. That's why I'm not saying shit.


  1. You put cracklings into cornbread too.

    (It is official: I have lived in the south too long.)


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