More random snark

Me: So that pork roast? I found out why it was cheap.

Jimmy: All that fat?

Me: It wasn't fat. It was skin. It still had the skin on.

Jimmy: Did you take it off?

Me: I couldn't get it off! I hacked and hacked at it, but it wouldn't come off. So I looked it up on the internet, and it said you can roast it with the skin on and it will actually add flavor. Then it'll just slip right off.

Jimmy: Then we can roast it in the oven.

Me: What?

Jimmy: Roast the skin, and it'll turn into cracklings.

Me: Cracklings?

Jimmy: *pats my knee* It's okay, northern girl.

Me: WHAT.

Jimmy: Cracklings. Roasted pork skin.

Me: You just bake pig skin and eat it?

Jimmy: Mmmm.

Me: I have a theory that weird southern cuisine goes back to the Civil War, when everyone was starving to death, so they ate whatever they could. Then it became a point of pride: "We ate shit and we liked it!" 

Jimmy: *laughs*

Me: It explains giblet gravy. Fried pork skin indeed.

Jimmy: It's just pork rinds.

Me: .... I thought pork rinds were, like, pork-flavored corn puffs.

Jimmy: Cracklings.

Me: I will keep an open mind till I try it.

Me: Do you like my new haircut?

Jimmy: That's not a new haircut. You just pinned up your hair.

Me: It was close. I was so tempted to grab my kitchen shears and hack it off.

Jimmy: *touches my hair* Just checking.

Me: So this is what I'd look like with short hair, see?

Jimmy: Noooo. You wouldn't look good with short hair.

Me: So you're saying I don't look good right now?

Jimmy: .... I just like long hair.

Me: That was one of those questions, you know, where you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Jimmy: Oh yeah. That's why I'm not saying shit.