Snippets: New Year Edition

For the purposes of this snippet, you need to know that I have been making fresh bread with olive oil. Yum. For the most recent loaf, I ran out of my usual butter-infused extra virgin and used instead a blend infused with Tuscan herbs. It added an Italian flavor to the loaf. Boy has opined that it would be best served with an oil dipping sauce rather than butter. Thus, these texts.

BOY: Get some olive oil for the bread.
ME: You like the Tuscan?
BOY: With some olive oil.
BOY: And you want to make another loaf.
ME: I guess you like it. Is there any left?
BOY: Very little.
ME: So... crumbs then.
BOY: Nope, a couple slices, but get some olive oil.
ME: Olive to serve.
BOY: Get some milk too.
ME: A terrific pun like that and I get nothing?
BOY: Yep.


ME: If the boy thinks he's getting the jumbo bag of Oreo-flavored popcorn from Chef Shoppe for his birthday, he is high.
MAN: Do I want to know?
ME: That little bag you're holding is $11.99.
MAN: How much is the jumbo?
ME: $129.
MAN: Yeah, no.
ME: I'd figure you would say popcorn is worth any price, Popcorn Monster.
MAN: Look, I love popcorn. I love popcorn more than peanut butter.
ME: Wow. More than Godzilla?
MAN: Close second.
ME: Did I break you with Godzilla?
MAN: Yes. Close second.
ME: More than me?
MAN: ... of course not.
ME: You hesitated. I saw it.
MAN: I was checking my answer to make sure I'm not about to get in trouble.


ME: You have to be at the Y at 5:30 with the other volunteers for Last Night.
BOY: Then get home so we can start with games and movies.
ME: I'm at Walmart for YOUR underwear, smarty no-pants.
BOY: Are you coming home anytime soon?
ME: Ask the people in line in front of me.
BOY: Shove them out of the way and tell them it's an emergency.
ME: What's the emergency?
BOY: I'm hungry and want to play games and watch movies.
ME: That truly sounds dire. Eat leftovers please.