For the purposes of this, you must understand a few things about Boy. He does not have a debit card, so when he orders things he gives me money and I order it for him. His father lives in Memphis, so gifts he purchases for his father are often managed this way. And he hates tomatoes with a living passion.

At Subway...

BOY: I'd like a ham and cheese on monterey cheddar.
ME: Please.
BOY: Please.
SERVER: *makes sandwich* And what would you like on it?
BOY: Extra onions, lettuce, pickles -
ME: Ew.
BOY: Hush.
ME: Ruination of a good sandwich.
BOY: And what are you ordering?
ME: Subway Club. Nunya.
BOY: And mayonnaise, please.
SERVER: Anything else?
ME: Extra tomatoes.
SERVER: *looks at Boy*
BOY: She's kidding, no tomatoes.
SERVER: *is giggling*
BOY: You're not funny.
ME: I'm hilarious.

Later, I texted him to let him know his Father's Day present for his father was ordered.

ME: Ordered and on its way. One Chicago Cubs wall pennant.
BOY: Mom no you were supposed to order a Saints football
ME: Man, you're so easy. :) Saints football, on its way with extra tomatoes.


ME: I'm dithering.
MAN: About what?
ME: Actually launching the new photography site. It's so long.
MAN: What about
ME: ... I don't know. I think people will miss the E and go to, which is taken.
MAN: I'm just throwing things out there.
ME: Heh. I haven't been Beth since the second grade.
MAN: I've got nothing.
ME: Why is my name so LONG?


Understand that when Jim and I talk at night, it's while he's working, cleaning the classrooms at SIUE. I'm a voice in the earbuds, and I often hear other people walking around the classrooms and he will sometimes pause to speak to them.

ME: I know that this level of photography is a few levels above my current ability, but it's interesting.
MAN: Hold on a sec, hon.
VOICE: *indistinguishable*
MAN: Good night, pretty girl.
ME: Stop flirting with the college students.
MAN: I was talking to a dog, woman.
VOICE: *faint laughter*
ME: *giggling*
MAN: You gave a good laugh to the woman in the wheelchair. She has a service dog and I was saying goodnight to the DOG.
ME: *giggling helplessly* Wait, you aren't supposed to bother service dogs!
MAN: I didn't pet her. I just said good night to her.
ME: I thought it was slightly out of character for you to be flirting with the students.