Scarlet Letters

The not-so-private thoughts and rants of Elizabeth Donald, journalist/author and founder of the Literary Underworld.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Snippets

Boy is famous for making me pause shows all the time so he can get a snack, run to the bathroom, split the atom, whatever. The joys of ADHD. Watching anything with the both of them is an exercise in patience.

BUFFY: *begins*
BOY: Pause. I need more food.
ME: And we are thirty seconds past the previouslys.
BOY: We took too long starting the episode.
ME: Whatever.
BOY: *goes for food*
ME: Bring me a milk.
BOY: No, because you didn't say please.
ME: Pretty please, with sugar on top, child of my loins, bring me milk.
BOY: Okay, I'll take that, but just this once.
ME: Smartass.

ME: *grabs single-serve bag of Doritos*
ME: *nibbles*
ME: *chokes* Aaah! I got the spicy nacho ones.
BOY: *snickers*
ME: Shut up! You have the regular. Trade?
BOY: *snickers more, passes me the bag* You know, they're not that spicy.
ME: Shush. I acknowledge my wussiness.
...
ME: *bites Doritos* Blech.
BOY: What?
ME: They're stale.
BOY: Yeah, they go stale sometimes.
ME: They're dated from 2014. How did they survive that long in this house?
BOY: ...
ME: That's it. I need chocolate chip cookies.
BOY: I just sat down.
ME: Fine. All you have to do is share your gingersnaps.
BOY: ... Can I throw them to you?
ME: Do not throw gingersnaps at me.

Also: We have way too much cake in this house. Leftovers from the Relay Cafe. Once upon a time I could foist them off on coworkers. Ah, the trials of working remote...

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