Scarlet Letters

The not-so-private thoughts and rants of Elizabeth Donald, journalist/author and founder of the Literary Underworld.

Thursday, May 05, 2016

Snippets

Upon seeing a really cool Superman figurine...

BOY: Gawd, $90! I've got bigger action figures than that.
ME: It's not an action figure, it's a figurine. It's for decoration.
BOY: Whatever. I'm not paying $90 for an action figure I can't play with.

----

Other updates: Jim had surgery. A lump had developed in the center of his back the size of a baseball, and the doctor's in-office attempt to remove it was only partially successful. He got it down the size of a golf ball, but he needed an OR to get the rest. So Jim's surgery was about 11 days ago, and he was hurting pretty badly. He also had to be off work for nearly two weeks, so yay paperwork.

But he is doing much better, stitches were removed Tuesday and I get to finally pack away the first-aid kit. And I have made many jokes about a Cone of Shame, since he has a tendency to rub his back along the wall like a bear when the healing itches.

MAN: I am not a dog!
ME: We-ell...
MAN: Woof.

----
You've not experienced the true Antigone until you've seen it re-enacted and interpreted by Jim.

"Finally, everyone in the kingdom has gone to Creon and told him that people are sick, the animals are dying, he must relent and bury the guy! Even his own son says so! And finally he gives in, and says, we will bury him! And the son goes to the cave, where Antigone is imprisoned, because he's engaged to her even though she's his cousin, first cousin, ew, and they find that the rock has collapsed and Antigone has hanged herself! And there is Haemon-eggs, lamenting over her dead body! And Haemon-eggs attacks his father the king with his sword! But he's the worst swordsman ever, because he takes one swing and misses, so instead of, y'know, trying again, he stabs himself! Because Greek."

I reply, "Greek. Of course, the Romans just scrubbed the names off the Greek dramas and replaced them with Latin instead of developing a culture of their own. I'm still not seeing why Antigone reminds you of me."

"Because she defied the king! And nobody listened, so Antigone says, 'Screw y'all,' and hangs herself."

"Screw y'all" is an interpretation from the original Greek, I presume.

----

ME: I presume you had the presence of mind to bring your orchestra tux to school today for the concert, since your rehearsal call is at 5? Or are you actually coming home after school to rest first?
BOY: No, I was gonna stay here but I forgot my tux. (sorry...)
ME: So what's my incentive to bring it to school?
BOY: For me to look nice during my last concert of the year.
ME: Hmm. I was thinking more like you being nice to me.
BOY: Oh, okay. :)

---

MAN: I'll get lunch at the university.
ME: *stern look*
MAN: Don't give me the look of death and destruction!
ME: James.
MAN: It's my last exam of the semester, and I'm treating myself to a burger and fries at the food court!
ME: Well, "treating"...
MAN: Fine, "suffering," but it's MINE.
ME: And no caffeine!
MAN: Woman!
ME: Don't call me woman! No caffeine! Your blood pressure doesn't care that it's the last day of the semester!
MAN: Actually, the end of the semester might lower my blood pressure.
ME: Possibly. Now you won't have anything to fret about.
MAN: I'm going to start fretting about my summer school class.
ME: *searches for water squirt bottle* James!
MAN: Hush!
ME: You can't hush me, so quit trying!
MAN: I am King Creon, and this is my kingdom and I say hush! Which makes you my cousin, ew.
ME: Ew. Fine, King Creon, I'm still not Antigone, because I wouldn't go hang myself in a cave or marry my cousin, wuss.
MAN: Technically she didn't marry her cousin. But she was stubborn and hardheaded.
ME: I am not stubborn.
MAN: *look*

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