Snippets, not-entirely-worksafe edition

When voice-to-text meets autocorrect.... and Man devolves

Man: Did you get the bus pass?
Me: Boobs
Me: I said poops!
Man: Boobs
Me: Hoops
Me: oh for fucks sake
Me: Oops! I said oops!
Man: Yes. Boobs.
Me: That is not what I said!
Man: Ohhhhhh yes. Raaaarrrgh.
Me: So I'll stop and get a bus pass on the way home, you pervert.
Man: Yes. Ohhhhhhhhargh.
Me: This is going on the blog.

Me: When cooking this weekend, don't forget there are two frozen lasagna plus chicken nuggets and fries in the freezer.
Me: There are a number of canned soups and tons of pasta in the basement, plus the makings of curry chicken casserole or spaghetti.
Me: There is a pound of ground meat, please read three
Me: Good lord
Me: Stupid voice to text
Me: Around me
Me: Round beef
Me: Goddammit
Me: Ground meat. Do you frosting
Me: Defrosting!
Me: If you don't use it, green green wtf referee it
Me: Refreeze!
Man: Gotcha. Right.

Boy: How do you spell herbivore?
Me: Isn't it on your study sheet right in front of you?
Boy: I spelled it wrong.
Me: I so enjoy doing your homework for you. 
Boy: Hey, I'm doing my homework!
Me: H-e-r-b-i-v-o-r-e.
Boy: Herbivore. *types*
Me: Thank you for only making me spell it once, unlike your stepfather.
Boy: I noticed that. Every time he asks you spell things you end up spelling it like five times.
Me: Drives. Me. Crazy.
Boy: *snickers*
Me: Like, if you want something spelled, listen to it the first time! Or, y'know, look it up!

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