Scarlet Letters

The not-so-private thoughts and rants of Elizabeth Donald, journalist/author and founder of the Literary Underworld.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Dear Boy, or Why We're Always Broke

Oh beloved son of mine...

I suppose I can understand that multiple bowls of cereal are not enough for a gargantuan like yourself. This is why I end up buying multiple Sam's Club boxes of cereal per week and never seem to get any cereal myself, and why we go through six gallons of milk a week. And apparently all the remaining French bread. I hope it was yummy.

But then you pulled out the frozen bowtie pasta broccoli alfredo and chomped on that for a while - without heating it up. You might have put the rest back in the freezer, by the way. I am not the maid.

And then you felt like a soda, so you got out the ice cube tray - and cracked it in half. Another item for the shopping list. How, exactly, did you manage that?

But it boggles my mind that you also apparently ate an entire 19-ounce bag of cheese tortellini. I hope you at least heated it up. I was planning to make up a scratch alfredo sauce for that tortellini. Back onto the shopping list.

Remind me to teach you how to scramble eggs. Are you full yet? I think there's some styrofoam plates left over from the party, you can gnaw on those.

Stop growing,
Mom

P.S. You are totally paying for the new ice cube tray.

1 Comments:

Blogger Recoveringcynic said...

You can make easy scrambled eggs in the microwave. Just break the yolk and put it in for about a minute and a half or so depending on the microwave. Season to taste.

12:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home