Things Boy Says

I missed this kid. I think.

SCENE: The three of us, sitting at dinner. Man and I are still eating; Boy has inhaled his food as usual. Seriously, once a waiter checking back with us a few minutes after dropping off a huge platter of Cracker Barrel nummies saw Boy's empty plate and said, "Did he drop it?"

BOY: *chomps last fry*
ME: You know, your food isn't going to run away from you.
BOY: Yes it is.
ME: Stop staring at my fries.
BOY: Are you going to eat all those?
ME: Yes.
BOY: Jimmy, are you going to eat all of your fries?
ME: Are you still hungry?
BOY: Yes.
ME: Are you still growing?
BOY: Yes.
ME: If I stop feeding you, would you stop growing?
BOY: No. Also, that would be child abuse.
MAN: He would just return to soaking in all the radiation of the universe and converting it directly to energy.
BOY: Tastes like chicken.

And that, friends, is when I lost it.

Also, I gave him the rest of my fries.


  1. Oh, my. Two against one. It's a conspiracy to keep you from ever eating a french fry again. I vote for building a french fry castle and a moat of whatever your favorite condiment for crispy, delicious fried potatoes might be.

    Good luck and soldier on!


Post a Comment