Marriage with the Mouse
Q: Wait, what? You ran off to Florida and got married?
A: Hell no. I have too many relatives with pointy weapons for that. No, we got engaged. Jimmy knelt down in front of Cinderella Castle, said something schmoopy and had the ring on my finger before I had the chance to say yes. He said he was hedging his bets.
Q: You didn't get married? What's with the hats? Veil, top hat… ears.
A: The hats were a present from my dad and stepmom. Not to be confused with the real thing. Cute, aren't they?
Q: So that's not a wedding band?
A: No, it's a promise ring. We're going to buy a wedding set next year after we save up some money. Jimmy may be crazy enough to marry me, but he's not crazy enough to buy a wedding set before finding out what I was gonna say.
Q: You did say yes, right?
A: Please note the changed relationship status on Facebook. I said yes. If I'd said no, my stepmother would have shoved me into the moat. Jimmy did say he considered supergluing my feet to the pavement before asking, and at least one friend suggested tying me to a chair first. But I must've said yes, because I have this ring on now.
Q: About damn time!
A: Okay, about nine of you said this. Whoa, are you guys in a hurry! We've only been together about two years! Both of us have failed marriages in our past, and were not in a gigantic rush down the aisle. Okay, so he was ready to pop the question a good bit before I was ready to answer, but that's because his insanity level is higher.
Q: That's right, didn't you say, "Better dead than wed"?
A: Yeah, well, we need a new toaster.
Q: Which was harder for Jimmy, reeling in the flounder or reeling in you?
A: Jimmy says, "Please don't make me answer that question."
Q: So now you'll be Mrs. Gillentine?
A: For the record, no, I will not be changing my name. One of the great side effects of feminism is that you get to choose your own identity, and almost nothing is as integral to identity as a name. For some women that means changing their names, for others it means hyphenating; for others keeping it. I choose to keep it. Jimmy is fine with this; in fact, he briefly discussed changing his own name. The only downside to keeping our names: Difficulty monogramming things.
Q: Ha ha! I knew all about it weeks ago!
A: You and the rest of civilization. Apparently, Jimmy had enlisted every single human I know for advice and assistance before doing this crazy thing. Including my son, who was his official wingman/co-conspirator and covered for him during ring shopping.
Q: So when's the date?
A: So glad you asked. Actually, my grandmother wins the brass ring for being the first to ask, approximately one hour after the proposal. We are planning on June 2014, tentatively.
Q: 2014! Wow, that's a long time!
A: Hey, I suggested five years, but Jimmy's head spun around and he needed two bags of popcorn, stat. You might have noticed we lead pretty busy lives, and the idea of pulling this off in a year was problematic, to say the least. We have two cars that will be paid off in late 2013, which (barring disaster) should free up quite a bit of money in 2014. Plus, I'm supposed to have two books come out in 2013, and coordinating THAT and a wedding in one year is a one-way ticket to a padded cell. As I told Jimmy, "Do you want to marry me or kill me?"
Q: So, are you happy?
A: Yes. We are very happy, and very grateful for the flood of good wishes and kindness we have received. It takes more than two people to make a marriage work, and it's good to know we have the support of so many family and friends. You all rock.