early-morning web updates

I am posting this entry at 1:07 a.m. This should serve as the definitive answer to the folks who ask me the question I hear more often than Stephen King hears, "So where do you get your ideas?"

The question I hear is, "How do you do it all?" Reporter. Single mother. Book author. How do I do it all? Easy. I update my blog at 1:07 a.m. after reprogramming my web site while waiting for a cake to finish baking after working the night shift. My apartment is a mess, I'm two years behind in my filing, the scrapbooking materials are shoved into a drawer for six months on end and I haven't even noticed my vacuum cleaner's broken. It's easy to do it all, folks. Give up sleep, cleanliness and a life.

The cake is for a co-worker's retirement party tomorrow. God bless you, sir, and enjoy your sail off into the golden fields of not-working-anymore. I wish I were going with you.

But before I go sign up for my 401(k), I wanted to let you loyal denizens know that there's a new feature on the web site. Contrary to popular belief, I did not create this feature just because I had one space in my button grid with "This space for rent." Because I really could have used the rent.

Instead, I created the Readers' Corner. I couldn't think of a snappier title. It's 1:10 a.m., folks, who are we kidding? The Readers' Corner is a collection of reader comments on my work. As far as I'm concerned, what you readers have to say is more important than what the critics may say. I've been lucky to receive very strong critical reaction to my work, and it's a blessing. But when readers write to me and tell me how my work has touched them, I feel truly blessed.

Soon to be added to the Readers' Corner: reader photos! One of the advantages of having an honest-to-Zod in-print book. Go on, show my book wherever you may be! Hold it up in front of a landmark in your hometown! Set it up with your favorite stuffed animal! Extra points for white angel bears and non-U.S. locations!

The lawyers-in-a-box insist I remind you not to do anything perverted to my books just to garner yourself an X-rated photo. It will not be on the web site and the only one it will amuse is the authorities. Also, by sending your comments/photos to me you grant me permission to use them in promotional material, blah blah blah.

It's 1:14 a.m. now, and the cake is almost done. Then I can go to sleep. Not that I mind spending these early-morning hours with my noisy upstairs neighbors, the creak of the ceiling fan, the infomercials on the Sci-Fi Channel and you guys. But I tend to be more, y'know, conscious after real sleep. I'm just saying.

Now the grid is full, and I can't add any more features to the web site until I think of three to create a whole new row. I look forward to/am terrified by the thoughts of what you people can dream up. The cake is ready, and I'm going to sleep. Good night, and good luck.

P.S. I lied. The Sci-Fi Channel doesn't go to infomercials for a few more hours. Mulder and Scully, baby. That ought to make for GREAT dreams.