JIM: You're evil!
ME: Am not! How am I evil this time?
JIm: "Kill her, kill the main character." Even my editor said if I did that my readers would hate me.
ME: So? Screw em.
JIM: Evil! Just because you always kill everyone...
ME: Do not!
JIM: Do too!
ME: Sometimes they live! Dale* lived, and he will go on to have many other adventures!
JIM: *mutters* He just won't want to live after what you did...
ME: I don't believe in happy endings.
JIM You're living one but you don't believe in them.
ME: All love stories end sadly. They either break up or one of them dies.
JIM: Evil!


JIM: I guess two of my classes won't be on Blackboard, since I don't see them yet.
ME: You can always do what we did when I went to college.
JIM: What's that?
ME: Find out what your grade was at the next class.
JIM: No. I want to know now.
ME: You kids and your technology.
JIM: I'm not going to college in the days of stone knives and bearskins -
ME: *response redacted*


During a horror movie...

MOVIE: *jumpscare*
ME: Meep! *grabs arm* Protect me, brave strong man.
JIM: Wait here. I'll run for help.
ME: Oh, my fucking hero.



ME: Tell me stuff like that doesn't make you want to write.
JIM: Oh yeah, it does.
ME: Me too. My head is all full of super creepiness now, and I want to write all the things. But I have to go to bed. If I didn't have to work tomorrow** I would totally pump some caffeine and get to writing.
JIM: Mmmm. *peruses Amazon*
ME: YOU could write.
JIM: I might.
Me: You could write about a struggling writer trying to support his family, and sitting at the dining table working on a story while everyone else is asleep. And suddenly there's a horrid face at the window.
JIM: *looks at large window* No.
ME: Why not?
JIM: I don't want to see anything at the window!
ME: It's a story! Write it!
JIM: It's your story, you write it!
ME: Okay fine, I will! Um, tomorrow night. Still have to work. 
JIM: I have my own story idea percolating.
ME: Well, then get to it. *mutters* and it'll probably have a happy ending...

* Infinity, 2011. 
** Took place Friday.