The Cutting Edge of Humor

J's workplace had a serious discussion on boxcutter safety today. He made the grave error of telling me about it. He should know better than to serve up such a rich source of puns to a master such as myself.

ME: I think you should run around the warehouse waving your boxcutter.
J: I think I'd get arrested.
ME: Yeah, but it'd be funny. At least then management would get the point.
J: ... I'll talk to you later, hon.
ME: Hey, I thought that one was pretty sharp.
J: *groan*

By text later...

J: Your puns are a cut above the rest.
ME: Hey, I think this boxcutter issue cuts both ways. Take a stab at it, and I think you'll find it's better to be naughty than knife.
J: Yuck!
ME: Have a knife day, dear.
J: ...
ME: Don't be so dull, or they'll think you can't hack it.

After work...

ME: Silence? Hey, this is better than playing with slice cubes.*
J: Ouch! enough!
ME: Oh, you cut me the quick, and when you've always congratulated me on my sharp wit. Well, shanks for the memories...
J: Ewww!
ME: Still love me?
J: ...
ME: Sniffle.
J: Of course I still love you. Your beauty and love cut me like a knife.
ME: Darling. Don't try to best the mistress of puns. I am always on the cutting edge.
J: Blucky!


* Okay, even I'll admit this was a stretch.