Twittering Writers

Whatever would I do without my HelpMeObiWanKaTwitter? The participants last night were authors Sara Harvey, Vic Milan and Mari Adkins, and journalist Dana Franks. It kicked off because Sara admitted she was watching... reality television. For the purposes of this story, you should know that the heroine of THE COLD ONES (and the sequel, BLACKFIRE, currently under production) was named after Ms. Harvey, as one of my dearest friends. The journalist in all three Nocturnal Urges books is named after Ms. Franks.

ME: You're watching AMERICA'S GOT TALENT? … Is this a gestation thing? I won't judge, I chewed ice cubes for 9mo.
SARA: I actually like AMERICA'S GOT TALENT and have watched all 3 seasons. And who are you to snark, Ms. AIR SUPPLY? Hmmm?
MARI: oooooooooo
ME: I WAS TWELVE. What's your excuse???
SARA: You WERE twelve? What, did you write "Sisyphus" when you were twelve, too?
ME: Do you not recall that in "Sisyphus" it was the Evil Song? :P Be nice, I'm writing your doppelganger as we speak!
MARI: mmmmhhhmmmm
SARA: As if you've ever been nice to a character before in your life!
MARI: mari concurs #buttinski
ME: I have too! Sometimes they live!
DANA: Um, do I need to bring up Celine Dion too?
SARA: They live, sure, but with PTSD, burying their beloved friends/lovers/pets, missing limbs, etc.
DANA: (to Sara) Her idea of "nice" is a quick death where they remain dead. Although my character has remained alive, so I should shut up.
MARI: what she said
ME: You guys complain just as loudly about the quick deaths as the slow lingering ones. And Dana, you live. SO FAR.
ME: Also, missy, Celine Dion songs make for excellent vocal exercise in broadening the range, even if they are schmoopy. :P
SARA: You want range, sing some "Queen of the Night" aria. That'll teach those vocal chords!
ME: And what's a little PTSD if you actually survive a horror novel? They should thank me. :)
SARA: Sure, but you can't then make the claim of being "nice."
SARA: (to Dana) My character is still alive… but she's mentally unstable. But in @edonald's defense, she DID start out that way.
DANA: Yes, and my character has remained a good journalist too. If you were truly evil, you'd turn her into a TMZ reporter.

ME: I can't find my demons sourcebook! Woe!
VIC: You mean teh IntarWebz don't have enough demon resources for you? The internet: It's all about the demons.
ME: Nope. I have a dictionary of demons and unquiet spirits, but it's hiding. Grr. Need water spirits!
MARI: Give me a second.
SARA: (to Vic) I thought the internet was all about pr0n?
MARI: Of course, the best thing I'm coming up with is the kraken ::headdesk::
VIC: (to Sara) Well, pr0n. And demons.
MARI: Deities and demons of the bible is turning up bupkis as well.
SARA: Vilas and rusalkas! #awesomewaterdemons
ME: What's a vila? #omgoogle
SARA: [linkage]
ME: Oh, I know rusalka. Vilia, though, look like wood sprites, not water. Am I missing something?
SARA: They cause storms, too. And like to drown people.
ME: Ooooh, but I like the Vilia! "The reason for abandoning their loves is a sad one. The Vilya are cursed never to find their true love. If they do, that love will die a terrible death." AWESOME.
DANA: Dammit, Sara, you've just given Elizabeth a whole new way to torture people with love. I thought she'd run out!
MARI: omg that's fantastic! #vilya
SARA: @edonald Wow, they have you written all over them!
SARA: @dana She would have found out eventually. There are unlimited ways to torture people with love!
DANA: It's bad enough IRL without adding mythological characters. #toocynicaltolive
ME: You never know. I could turn over a new leaf and write a love story, true love that conquers all.
DANA: You realize if you did that, it would inevitably turn into something like TWILIGHT and you'd be forced to write sappy forever more.
MARI: Good luck with that.
ME: True love and puppies! Rainbows and unicorns! Dancing in the moonlight and all that shit!
SARA: Yeah, conquers… with all the burning and pillaging that goes along with it! You just leave the happy endings to me, ok?
MARI: Gag me with a spoon.
SARA: Hey, ain't nuthin wrong with true love and puppies, I have plenty of both!
MARI: Ravage pillage conquer maim and put big hickies on all the fair damsels #eriktheawful
ME: I could stretch? They could, y'know, survive and live happily ever after!
DANA: I think she should write a story just like that so we can see what a great satirist comic she could be.
DANA: (to me) Yes, and sparkly vampires do exist and I play quidditch in my backyard with Oreo.
DANA: I'm having more fun making fun of @edonald's love of torture than anything in months. I'm gonna miss you at D*C, E.
ME: And I shall miss you, flunky. Don't stay away too long, okay? Who else is gonna keep me all cynical? :D
DANA: I'll probably be back next year if you'll have me. Almost un-canceled a couple of times.
ME: Hey, do what you gotta do, hon. You've always got a job with me, for all the salary I can bake. :D

ME: Anyone know if they still send someone personally to inform the family of a soldier killed in action, or if it's telegram/phonecall/etc. now?
SARA: I know they still go personally at Ft. Campbell.
ME: I realize this topic of conversation rather belies the "true love and unicorns" theme…
SARA: Just proves you are incapable of a happy ending! So, stick to horror, I guess!


  1. oh that was great. LOL

  2. Are vilas/vilias the same creatures Rowling put in Harry Potter? (You know, like Fleur Delacoeur?)

    In Sara's defense, Nick Cannon is pretty adorable on America's Got Talent. And I am a HUUUUGGGEEEE fam of reality tv. Like scripted shows, there is Awesome Reality (Project Runway), Guilty Pleasure Reality (Hell's Kitchen, the BBC version of Kitchen Nightmares, Celebrity Apprentice, the entire HGTV lineup) and Car-Crash-can't-look-away reality (most of the stuff on VH1, Big Brother, etc). So there ;P

  3. Sprite: Nope, those are veelas. Different critters, not (as far as I know) based on the Slavic vilyas.

  4. I watched American Idol last season, so I can't snark.

    And nothing wrong with happy endings. In my field they are totally transgressive. Dead Queer in The Third Reel is the cliche. As is Gay and Living Unhappily Ever After. Of course, my definition of "happy" doesn't always mesh with the publishers'.

  5. To hell with "Careful, you'll end up in my novel," you need an icon/button/t-shirt/etc that says "Careful, you'll end up in my BLOG!"

    Also, I am primarily watching AMERICA'S GOT TALENT for ArcAttack, the guys out of TX who play the Tesla coils! I know those guys from con! They are geeks, they are OUR PEOPLE!

    And the neat things people can do is just fun and awesome- all ages, genders, races, shapes/sizes, backgrounds, etc. It is an actually really neat show and they don't focus on the trainwrecks as much as IDOL does.

  6. Great! Thanks for posting this; it was too funny and I enjoyed it immensely!!

    B.C. Brown


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