Snippets, not-entirely-worksafe edition

When voice-to-text meets autocorrect.... and Man devolves

Man: Did you get the bus pass?

Me: Boobs

Me: I said poops!

Man: Boobs

Me: Hoops

Me: oh for fucks sake

Me: Oops! I said oops!

Man: Yes. Boobs.

Me: That is not what I said!

Man: Ohhhhhh yes. Raaaarrrgh.

Me: So I'll stop and get a bus pass on the way home, you pervert.

Man: Yes. Ohhhhhhhhargh.

Me: This is going on the blog.

Me: When cooking this weekend, don't forget there are two frozen lasagna plus chicken nuggets and fries in the freezer.

Me: There are a number of canned soups and tons of pasta in the basement, plus the makings of curry chicken casserole or spaghetti.

Me: There is a pound of ground meat, please read three

Me: Good lord

Me: Stupid voice to text

Me: Around me

Me: Round beef

Me: Goddammit

Me: Ground meat. Do you frosting

Me: Defrosting!

Me: If you don't use it, green green wtf referee it

Me: Refreeze!

Man: Gotcha. Right.

Boy: How do you spell herbivore?

Me: Isn't it on your study sheet right in front of you?

Boy: I spelled it wrong.

Me: I so enjoy doing your homework for you. 

Boy: Hey, I'm doing my homework!

Me: H-e-r-b-i-v-o-r-e.

Boy: Herbivore. *types*

Me: Thank you for only making me spell it once, unlike your stepfather.

Boy: I noticed that. Every time he asks you spell things you end up spelling it like five times.

Me: Drives. Me. Crazy.

Boy: *snickers*

Me: Like, if you want something spelled, listen to it the first time! Or, y'know, look it up!