Scarlet Letters

This has proven much more difficult to write than I anticipated, probably because this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Harder than the decision to leave Memphis and my career in the arts in order to pursue a life in journalism. Harder than the decision to divorce my first husband, the father of my child. And I'm not one to take a leap without considering all the options, so you'd best believe that I have discussed this with Jim, with my parents, with close friends, with mentors. Probably until they were tired of talking about it with me. I have dithered and stalled, because once I post this, it's final. It's real. I'm leaving the newspaper. With that decision ends 21 years in daily journalism. Wow, that was hard to type. And I haven't even done it yet. Please click here to check out my new site and all the details about this amazing new journey I'm about to take, and how you can be a part of it.

This blog is in danger of becoming all about food, but a) the writing stuff is in motion but still hush-hush, and b) the family sees each other so rarely right now that we don't even get much in the way of Snippets. That is, unless you could yesterday's endless snark of poor Jim on his 51st birthday, which I kept misremembering as 61 with a big ol' grin. And yet he married me. If you're curious what's going on, you can catch up with the Literary Underworld crew at its site ; with my professional photography and newstuff at Donald Media ; and of course my Facebook and Twitter . I promise there's going to be very big changes soon. In the meantime, our observance of Memorial Day means the family gets to spend a few days actually in each other's company. Not Friday, as Boy had rehearsal for Beauty and the Beast  and I had the night shift. And not tonight (Sunday night), because Jim has a night shift and Boy is seeing one of his friends in a play. (In case...

First, thank you to all four million of you who wished me a happy birthday. I tried to respond to each message, but Facebook may have had apoplexy. Y'all sure make me feel loved. To reiterate what I said on Facebook: I want more birthdays for everyone. In lieu of gifts, please consider donating to my Relay for Life efforts. I have lost two more friends to cancer in 2018, not including Jim's father, who had multiple health problems. It's only March. Click here if you wish to donate.  (Of course, those of you who already sent gifts? Thank you, too!) I had a pleasant birthday with my menfolk. Boy actually managed to be off work for a change. We had lunch at Tucano's, one of our favorite special-occasion places, and saw A Wrinkle in Time  at the fancy-schmancy theater with the recliner seats. I tell you, I could get used to that. Then we went shopping and I bought a silly amount of chocolate for myself. And a shower curtain, because I'm exciting like that. The fin...

Or, why I have three more gray hairs and another few hours chopped off my life. You're gonna see the end of this one coming. As the work day wound to a close, Jim texted me that The Amazing Claire was off work today. Since she is his carpool ride, he needed the car to get home at 2 a.m. This meant a side trip to the university on my way home, so Jim would take his dinner break and ride home with me, drop me off and take the car back to the university. I texted the Spawn and told him I'd be picking him up at Founders Hall tonight instead of the Vadalabene Center where I usually retrieve him. Uh, last night. Because by the time you read this it'll be tomorrow. Post-dated blogs play merry havoc on the old verb tenses. Spawn replied that he had a ride home, so not to worry about him. I said that was fine, but try not to be out too late. I retrieved Jim, who was bearing two leftover pizzas to throw at Spawn because we can never have too much food to throw at the Spawn an...

I was doing all right until I dropped the sugar. We'd gotten the bad news at church Sunday morning: Candace had taken a turn for the worse. Candace Sauermann, our dear friend and long-time church family member, who had been battling her third round with cancer when she caught pneumonia. But we thought she'd been doing better. Candace, who a mutual friend once described as the sweetest, kindest woman in Edwardsville and who my son once described as "teddy bears and rainbows." He knew her better than most of my friends in our grownup-y world, because Candace was his Sunday school teacher from the time he could walk. Her unfailing patience and dedication to the kids of St. Andrew's is reflected in every child who passed through our red doors for the last two generations. Candace, the engineer who dedicated many years of her life to designing the roads and bridges that carry us through this metro-east, working for the state department of transportation before mo...

*music swells* MAN: *sniffle* ME: ... seriously? MAN: Oh shush. ME: Hon. MAN: *wipes eyes* ME: You are such a marshmallow. MAN: I am not. I'm *sniffle* mean. ME: Love, you are not going to make it through It's a Wonderful Life  if you cry at the end of Grinch. ***** And A Charlie Brown Christmas. ***** And during Scrooge (1935). ***** FLICK: Stuck! Stuuuuck stuuuck stuuuuuuuuuck! MAN: I've done that. ME: *look* MAN: They said I was a scaredycat. I said, "I'm not a scaredycat!" ME: Thus the problems of the world are caused by male dick-measuring contests. MAN: ... it hurt. ***** And while walking down St. Charles Main Street with me. ***** And at "Everything I've Always Wanted" in  Rudolph & Frosty's Christmas in July. * Along with "I See Rainbows When I Look at You." ME: I see why you like this one. MAN: I didn't remember these. ME: Uh huh. ***** And on seeing the Christmas Eve ...

MAN: Ooh, the tree light timer. I need to set it - what time is it? BOY: Hold on. MAN: You got your phone? BOY: Yes, just a second.... *fiddles with phone* MAN: *waits* BOY: It's... hmm. ME: Boys. There is a clock on the wall. BOY: But... we've got our phones. ME: Taking orders for cookies. BOY: What are our options? ME: Chocolate chip, death by chocolate cookies, gingersnaps, sugar cookies or snickerdoodles. I don't think I have the stuff for turtle cookies. MAN: Chocolate chip or death by chocolate. BOY: Sugar cookies or gingersnaps. ME: ... ME: I don't suppose I can get you two to agree on a cookie, can I? Jim is cramming for a final on ancient Greek philosophy. Because hurriedly zooming through material the morning of the exam is the best way to insure retention, as we all know. ME: *nibbles on neck* MAN: Hey! Stop that, now! Aristotle! ME: Ooooh, I love it when you say Aristotle. It makes me sooo hot. Say it again! MAN: Aristotle. ME: Oooh!...

I've never been all that good at the traditional Thanksgiving toast, where we go around the table and say what we're giving thanks for this year. Partly because my answer is always the same: my family. I am blessed with a wonderful family that loves me and that I love, and we all mostly get along, too. I am blessed with a husband and son whom I adore and for whom I cook bountiful meals, and they seem to like me okay. My favorite part of any holiday... or weekend, or spare few hours... is snuggling in with my menfolk to watch movies and laugh together. Our family "adventures" (as I always called them when Boy was small) are the highlights of my life. This year the family circle is a little smaller. We've faced that before, of course; I've lost several family members, as has Jim. This year has been tougher than most, however. I've not written in this blog for quite a while because it didn't feel right to post anything until I could write about Gram...

Yesterday I messaged a friend that I had been sucker-punched in the head. He said, "I saw, I'm so sorry." He thought I was talking in metaphor, because my grandmother passed away Friday morning and there has been much reminiscing on Facebook. Grammy's death is too big a thing for me to wrap my head around yet. I thought I'd be able to write about it by now, but it's going to have to wait until my heart and my head get in sync. There are too many moments, too many scenes, too many memories that don't connect with each other to write about her yet. I keep mentally stumbling across things, like the way she called me "My Elizabeth" since I was a toddler, or the alternate lyrics she taught me to John Phillip Sousa, or her funny sweaters, or the time I told her the sky was a different color blue where she was, and dubbed it "California blue," which she said always came to mind afterward when the sky was clear over her house in the San Joaqu...

Yes, sometimes even reporters get a little time off. I won't be on Facebook while we're on vacation, but I'll likely be Tweeting on the personal account at @edonald if I see something amusing. I'll switch off the automatic feed so the Facebook crew won't be deluged with my blather, but if you actually want to see what we're up to, follow me there. I will blog if I feel like it. If you all have news, contact my bosses at Ye Olde Newspaper. Public officials, please remember you are still under adult supervision. No scandals or exciting chases, please. If you're planning crime, please hold off until I get back. [Redacted] is certainly not allowed to resolve itself without me. In fact, no news is allowed to take place for the next two weeks. We are going to have fun as a family and hang out with good friends. And I'll have the joy of changing Boy's bandages three times a day, so that should be fun. (He's going to be fine.) See y'al...

So, did anybody send us money recently? There's no polite way to ask that question, but I have to ask, because it looks like someone may have been swiping our mail. We have had three pieces of mail go missing en route to us in the last month, and each of them was related to money: a check for a Relay fundraiser, a graduation card for Boy with check enclosed, and a replacement debit card for my business account. We are getting the card replaced and the others have been informed. But the complicating factor is that Boy received a metric ton of wonderful cards, letters and other mail from kind family and friends congratulating him on his graduation. And in the time-honored tradition of the starving student, most of them sent cash or checks. Boy diligently wrote thank-you cards for gifts received before he went off to camp. There were a few that came in after he left, so those have not been properly thanked yet. (He's getting to them as soon as he comes home, he swears.) Bu...

In the last three weeks, I have successfully: • Planned and executed Easter dinner; • Planned, promoted and baked a smorgasbord for a pottery-painting fundraiser (cookies, brownies, strawberry cake, fruit punch) to benefit Relay for Life ; • Done a writing/photography/signing trip to Louisville; • Planned, promoted and coordinated an author fair; • Prepared and served a fundraiser chili supper with chili, hot dogs, chips, fruit cups, cupcakes, cookies, key lime pie, candybars and more for Relay; • Prepared and served a dessert buffet for the church (chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, cheese and crackers, cheese dip, bagels and cream cheese); • Prepared and served the remains of the chili supper for the church. I'm... tired. No rest for the wicked; next comes preparation for Jim's 50th birthday and Ian's high school graduation, which take place the same weekend. I am in search of the little elves and forest creatures that are supposed to appear out of ...

So let's recap, friends and neighbors: This weekend: • I have a signing at Maeva's in Alton on Friday night - " Writers of the Riverbend ." • On Saturday, I work for Ye Olde Newspaper. • On Sunday, I am running a fundraiser at Pottery Hollow for the Relay for Life team. This requires baked goods, as treats were promised to the people coming to paint things. I might be able to get away with cookies and punch. • Meanwhile Boy goes through his Ordeal for the Order of the Arrow. Next weekend: • I am doing a signing in Louisville, Ky. I am leaving on Thursday so I can do some photography on Friday before the signing on Saturday. • But as soon as the signing is over Saturday, I have to book it back to Illinois. Because... • Sunday is the 175th anniversary of St. Andrew's Episcopal Church . I am responsible for the coffee hour baked goods. And coffee hour is, as we all know, the eighth sacrament of the Episcopal Church. • Therefore all baking must be done...

For some reason, the Illness Edition(s) didn't run when I was sick. I was already on an antibiotic for another ailment when the Mysterious Fever of March struck. It went as high as 103, and stuck around for six days. Flu test was negative, other symptoms were all fever-related, including lower white cell count. Then it went away, shortly after I stopped taking the medicine. All that remained was pain in my hand and finger joints and a weird, painful swelling at the back of my head, which later turned out to be an infected lymph node. Two days later, my lips suddenly swelled up like Mick Jagger and my arms and legs itched so terribly I had to smear myself with lidocaine gel just to be able to sleep. A few days of antihistimines made it go away. Methinks I'm allergic to something. WebMD said I had dengue fever or meningitis. Never put your symptoms into WebMD. You're either dying of an obscure tropical virus or having a panic attack. A few weeks later, and suddenly I ha...

It was a lovely, warm weekend here in the Midwest, so naturally Donald-Smith-Gillentine Inc. spent it indoors. We had one of those lovely rare weekends where we had no obligations, but the far-less-rare status of no money. We spent all the funmoney this month on our Valentine's Day dinner (1808 Chophouse, and man, that was gooooood). So we tackled two long-delayed projects: my office and the Boy's room. Now, he's a teenage boy. I don't expect pin-straight neatness. The only young male I ever knew who could keep a room tidy was my friend Stephen, and we've all agreed he's a mutant. At one point in Boy's youth, I turned to a fellow choir member in frustration for advice. His children are brilliant, personable, super-achievers, poster children for the new millennium. ME: Tom, it's all agreed you raised the perfect kids. TOM: ... okay? ME: You did this! Successfully! So please, share the secret: How did you get them to clean their rooms? TOM: We did...

They say you'll probably spend your whole year mostly doing what you do on New Year's Day. If so, I'm going to spend 2017 snuggled with my family, napping, cooking experimental dishes, drinking tasty-yet-cheap wine, and ignoring the internet for the most part. That is just fine by me. As I write this, Boy has come home from work, rested, and is now going for a jog at dusk because he is a space alien. (Actually, because he had to miss the Resolution Run this morning in order to work at McDonald's, and I think he regrets it.) Man is running to the store for a few ingredients I somehow forgot, which boggles the mind considering how full the fridge is. We just finished watching Spotlight,  which Jim had not seen despite the two (2) formal events I've hosted featuring it. More movies pending as the lasagna bakes! And I am contemplating my year. I do an extensive list of New Year's Resolutions, because I don't see them as flighty wishes for the new year; I l...

We spent the last four days relaxing with my dad and stepmom at their house at the Lake of the Ozarks. It was a wonderful respite, and delightful to see the folks, whom we get to see far too little now that they're retired. (Well, sort of retired. Karen's still doing therapy, they wrote a book together, Dad's thinking about picking up one class a semester...) For everyone who said "Tell your folks I said hi," your good wishes were duly passed on. Dad took us out on the boat, where the menfolk caught a lot of snarled fishing line, and there were many bites.... from mosquitoes. Not so much the fish. At one point Dad declared a spot was "fished out," and I replied, "Don't you actually have to catch a fish for that to happen?" Hee. We went on a tour of the Missouri State Prison in Jefferson City, which was fascinating! Photographs are pending, and possibly a short story or two. I may write up a separate post on that experience later thi...

ME: *sad sad face* JIM: What? ME: I thought you made coffee. JIM: I was going to. I meant to. I got distracted. ME: There is no coffee. I put the Splenda in the cup and everything. JIM: I'll make coffee. ME: As is your Biblical duty. JIM: No. Don't. ME: In the Book of Hebrews. JIM: Now I won't make coffee. ME: Aaaaah! You have to! JIM: I refuse in the light of awful humor. ME: God compels you! (He made coffee.) ----- BOY: *fiddles with iPad* So last week, [BTG]'s phone died. Like, forever died. ME: That sucks. BOY: Yeah. So she was trying to find a texting app to put on her Kindle so we could text. But she couldn't find one, because it's a really old Kindle. So we're having to talk by email. ME: Wow. Just like the olden days. BOY: Yeah. Like that old movie, You've Got Mail.  Where they talk by email. ME: That old movie. BOY: Yeah. ME: You know what we did when I was in high school? BOY: Smoke signals? ME: [response redacted for...

Note: Tonight your guest blogger is my husband, Jim Gillentine, on the anniversary of his mother's death.  ------- A year ago on this day, my mother died. It was by far the saddest day of my life. My mother's health had been declining over her last year of life and it had gotten to the point that she had gone into kidney failure. I remember the call I had gotten from my sister Theresa that she was sick and it wasn't looking good. They were trying dialysis to clean her body of the impurities that her kidneys couldn't take care of. But it was too late. Her body was so weak and frail that her heart stopped twice when they were doing the procedure on two separate occasions. So my mom made the hard choice, and decided to stop treatment and let nature take its course. I went down to see her, knowing that it would be the last time I would be able to talk to her. I had to take the bus ride from hell because the A/C had gone out on the bus, and then had to get a ride eve...

Today is our Relay for Life. Usually I drive folks crazy in the weeks leading up to Relay with exhortations and incentives to donate, but life intervened this year and I've only issued the one plea. This is probably why as of now, I've raised $10 toward my personal $300 goal, and my team is still nearly $1,000 short of its $3,000 goal. I am speaking at tonight's Survivor Dinner (no, I'm not a cancer survivor, I just run my mouth a lot.) Below is the speech I intend to give. Please read it, and if you are so moved, consider donating before 10 p.m. CST. It reflects the number of people in my life who have been touched by cancer - at times, it feels like it is all around me. And if you're reading this, I imagine it has touched you, too. Thank you for your time. Fighting the Beast I’m Elizabeth Donald, captain of the St. Andrew’s team . I’ve been walking Relays off and on for 18 years, most of them here in Edwardsville. And I feel a little funny being the on...